Not a good time to venture to the port, it seems.
And did you happen to be at the unveiling of the "Important Thing?"
If not, it might be a good idea to in.
Not a good time to venture to the port, it seems.
And did you happen to be at the unveiling of the "Important Thing?"
If not, it might be a good idea to in.
I see the warm sun rising. I see it crawl across the morning sky… crawling like a spider, each hairy arm clicking as it moves, now slowly and measured, now quick and precise.
Crawling like an infant tapeworm yearning to be heard by its mother. Hungry for recognition of its achievements and not just the shadow by a past never forgotten, and never healed.
These are the consequences of smoking.
These are the miracles a boilermaker performs.
Rise, Great star in the sky. Rise as you always do. Rise to shower us with ultraviolet radiation.
Welcome Seekers,
It is I, your Headmaster
Knower of songs that were never written and will never exist
Lurker for those who can no longer lurk on their own
Builder of things that should never be built
And I bring to you
The Montavera Chronicle
Still, you should all avoid venturing into those parts of town. At least until the Contention is over.
“Very.”
Hmmm… If I didn’t know any better, I would know worse.
I’m eager to learn what this important thing is that they found, especially since it appears that they’ve ceased excavating for the day to witness the unveiling of the important thing. I’ll keep you posted, Seekers.
Well… Since our guest is here, why don’t we turn over the mic and let him introduce himself. (chicken sounds) Thanks for joining us. Tell me, have you heard from Trozuguru and his two hunters? (chicken sounds) You don’t say. And did they tell- (chicken sounds) Oh! Oh my! (chicken sounds) Oh no! But why hasn’t anyone warned us? (Chicken sounds) I understand. Thank you. And don’t worry. I won’t say anything. (Chicken sounds and chair sliding back and footsteps and door shutting)
I… I’m having a hard time believing it… but you heard it yourselves… And, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you… This MUST remain our secret. At least until… well… you know…
It’s no wonder everyone loves this guy.
He’s got a really nice table with all sorts of SWAG and pamphlets about the newly proposed Wind Shrine. Better get there soon, Seekers. I hear he has those little slinkies you can push down the stairs and they look like they’re walking down the stairs all by themselves but in reality they never moved and you dreamt the whole thing. I love those.
They also revealed that the mysterious guru who will be taking on the role of Master Chief is none other than Broos Lyguru. As you know, I had been tipped off about the guru’s secret identity. As you don’t know, the tip I received was completely and utterly wrong and a lie. The truth is, I don’t know very much about Master Chief Broos Lyguru, but as Headmaster of the Shrine of Yonder, I intend to become very informed on the matter. I’ve already sent word for him to fill out a formal Identification of Unknown Longtime Master Gurus document, and I do expect it to be back shortly. We’ll get to the bottom of this.
The letter from Trozuguru reads:
“It’s very dark here. The skilled hunter has a torch, but it hardly does much to light the path. It’s as if the darkness itself were alive. Watching us. Toying with us. Something is very wrong here. Something unnatural. The unskilled hunter keeps tripping over his own feet. I didn’t really want to bring him but you know how those Best Hunter/Worst Hunter Deals go. I haven’t heard any insidious wailing as of yet. We expect that’ll start at night. I’m not sure how i’ll know the difference between day and night in this place. I suppose by the insidious wailing. We did find animal corpses with their innards ripped out and strewn all about. You know, like momma used to do.”
That’s all it says, Seekers. I guess he just wanted to rub his fun times in our face. Uncouth, if you ask me.
As for the letter from Bruce Lyguru. It’s not a letter at all, just the filled-out form I requested. Now we’ll finally get some answers.
Favorite color: green
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite music: don’t believe music is real. So…. Jazz.
Last time you rode a bike: Yesterday.
This gives us a lot to go on. At least now we understand. At least now we can empathize.
Farewell Seekers, and never forget to spend time with your guru.